It was last week during a phone conversation that I realized that no one wants you to take your negativity out on them, unless they’re allowed to share their opinion about it. That’s human nature. Listening, and then saying something in return, whether you like it or not. And this made me frustrated.
Last week, heading home from work, I was PISSED. I mean, furious! I called my friend, and started telling her about all the frustrations that happened during the workday, and how some of it was caused by a buildup of events that happened previously. And then something horrible happened. She started telling me my attitude was wrong, what I was stressing over was wrong, and everything was wrong, wrong, wrong.
And I mean, she was right. Of course I didn’t need to say or feel all these things. Although that’s not how she directly put it, I understood that she didn’t deserve to take on all the negativity that built up inside me during the day. It was my problems, my negativity, and I shouldn’t put it on her shoulders. I was telling her what bothered me, how it angered me, and I expected her to simply listen. But by simply listening, she would have let my negative energy transfer onto her.
Now here is where it gets tough. Then how the hell do I get it off my own shoulders?! I don’t want to upset anyone close to me, I most definitely don’t want to share my problems with anyone distant to me, but I sure as hell don’t want to keep that all inside! I’m a fairly emotional person, and by keeping everything to myself, it bubbles up and explodes and I end up staying in bed for three days, and in those three days nothing gets done.
There’s a few solutions I can think of on the top of my head, but they may not be for everyone.
- Do yoga. If you already practice, then you have the advantage of having enough knowledge to do it without an instructor. Unfortunately, yoga is quite new in my life, so I’m not able to do my practice without an instructor. Luckily though, I did have yoga class the next day, so that definitely put me emotionally back on my feet.
- Write it down. Even getting it on paper will help you get it out and clear your head a bit. BUT – throw out the paper immediately after you wrote it down! You don’t go back to that. That stuff gets written down, and then poof! Gone with the wind. (You can burn it, and let the ashes fly with the wind for special effect.)
- Tell your mom. That’s what she’s there for. She’s the only person who will listen, and who (hopefully) will not start judging you, or get upset at you for piling negativity on her. Her motherly instincts will allow her to listen to you, and be able to brush the negativity right off her own shoulders, making it a benefit for everyone.
- Turn on some loud music and sing! Go for a drive, blast your favourite music, and just sing along at the top of your lungs.
- Sleep on it, learn from it, write a blog post about it. Well this post wouldn’t happen if I didn’t do that, right?
Hopefully this somehow helps you in your own life obstacles, and reminds you that nobody around you deserves any extra negativity that you may be carrying on your own shoulders. Better to get it out in an alternative way, as opposed to hurting those around you.
If you have other ways of getting things off your chest, feel free to share!